At Melbourne Airport...
... I almost made a joke about building a bomb.
It was quite late, and for some reason, we're at a gate right at the end of the airport, where hardly anyone goes.
There's no one at the checkpoint where you and all your stuff gets x-rayed, except for the people working there and they all look pretty bored.
So, this one guy whose job it is to do these random explosive traces tests, decides to do one on me, because I'm the only person to have walked through the gate in the last half an hour or something. So, he takes samples off my bag and my jacket.
And I was ABOUT to say something to the effect of "Yeah, I really look like someone whose built a bomb". But then I was like No, Donna! You cannot make jokes about making bombs at airports!
There are signs everywhere, at baggage drop off, around the airport saying that you CANNOT even allude to engaging in any bomb-making, hijacking, terrorist activity et cetera, because they WILL take you seriously, even if you are joking.
...and actually I had been handling matches before (we had bought this candleholder thing with matches for my aunt, and I'd opened up the matches and repacked the matchsticks literally 20 mins before) So, I don't know if match trace would come up and be as considered "explosive trace", but luckily he didn't test my hands!
It was quite late, and for some reason, we're at a gate right at the end of the airport, where hardly anyone goes.
There's no one at the checkpoint where you and all your stuff gets x-rayed, except for the people working there and they all look pretty bored.
So, this one guy whose job it is to do these random explosive traces tests, decides to do one on me, because I'm the only person to have walked through the gate in the last half an hour or something. So, he takes samples off my bag and my jacket.
And I was ABOUT to say something to the effect of "Yeah, I really look like someone whose built a bomb". But then I was like No, Donna! You cannot make jokes about making bombs at airports!
There are signs everywhere, at baggage drop off, around the airport saying that you CANNOT even allude to engaging in any bomb-making, hijacking, terrorist activity et cetera, because they WILL take you seriously, even if you are joking.
...and actually I had been handling matches before (we had bought this candleholder thing with matches for my aunt, and I'd opened up the matches and repacked the matchsticks literally 20 mins before) So, I don't know if match trace would come up and be as considered "explosive trace", but luckily he didn't test my hands!
posted by Donna at 20:48
2 Comments:
The tested me too! The woman thought that I was an Asian tourist with little/no comprehension of English whatsoever and proceeded to talk to me very loudly, enunciating every syllable, believing that her instructions would magically overcome any language barrier as long as she's loud enough and speaks slow enough.
Weird...
This reminds me of the urban myth about the director Mike Figgis arriving at LAX and, when asked his purpose for visting the US replied, "I'm here to shoot a pilot". After which he was held in custody for like eight hours...
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